We are very excited to share another interview with a 2019-2020 Baer Reintegration Scholar! These interviews are meant to inspire our applicants, spread awareness of our program, and commend the great work our scholars are doing. This interview is with V.D.*, who is attending graduate school at an Ivy League institution. Read on and like/comment below!

Center for Reintegration (CFR): What are you attending school for now, and how long have you been in school?

VD: I am currently pursuing a Master’s in global studies at an Ivy League school, researching foreign education policies in Latin America. This is my first and last year for my MA (it’s a one-year intensive Master’s program!) About 5 years ago I obtained my bachelor’s in Communications at a local Catholic private university in New Jersey. I have been out of school for a few years working but am looking to make a career change and decided to get a Master’s before looking for the next steps in my career.

CFR: Can you tell us a little bit about your story of living with a mental illness, for instance how and when you were diagnosed, and how that impacted your life as a whole?

VD: Back in 2004, I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder at the age of 13. I was struggling to cope with the stressors of school and studying in an advance class had pushed me past my limits which ultimately triggered my depression. I was first misdiagnosed with clinical depression but subsequent hospitalizations (twice in 2003 and once in 2004) along with a proper diagnosis with a trusted psychiatrist, helped me find the right treatment I needed. As a result, I had to be transferred to a special education school for students with emotional needs all the way through high school until my graduation in 2009.

I had always been an ambitious individual and this setback had affected me in more ways than one. I struggled to maintain friendships due to outbursts and isolation brought on by a crippling depression spanning weeks and months. I kept mostly to myself and took out my anger with my family. Mostly I felt dissatisfied with my life— my illness and at the time the treatment I was given was stifling my potential, and that I’d have to give up on my dream of being at an Ivy League school and having a great job with lots of money (or so I thought!). Ultimately, the things that I perceived as “normal” or part of life were elusive for me because I was not “normal” or could never be. I didn’t realize how far from the truth my perceptions were.

CFR: What effect has your mental illness had on your educational path? Did it interrupt it? Did it shift your course of focus and/or study?

VD: Fortunately, I was able to get back on-track after high school. I was determined to not let my illness affect my studies. I completed my university degree with honors within four years and succeeded academically. I was the receiver of several prestigious scholarships including one for study abroad in Japan, a $10,000 scholarship for achievement in the field of communications, and interned at several recognized publications and media companies. My educational path was not interrupted but it wasn’t easy either. I pushed myself again past my limits and my social life suffered, mostly isolated during my time and still fearing that “dreaded B.” I never once received a B during my time in college, but in some ways, I wish I did. It would have prepared me better for the real world if I failed once.

During the 5 years after graduating, I faced more trials and tribulations than I could have imagined. In the end, a major failure in my career path halted my advances in the workforce. I was forced to reassess my priorities, take a much-needed break, and realized that by trying to fight against my depression to be “normal” I was doing myself a disservice. There’s no such thing as “normal.” Everyone has issues—including those who are perceived to be successful.

CFR: What has helped you most with your recovery and reintegration back to school, work, and life in your communities?

VD: In the long run, however, I’ve had some major success: interning with high-level politicians (presidents and vice presidents of a country), writing speeches for state politicians at a state legislature, and working for a local NYC government agency as their social media strategist. All these successes led me to a U.S.-government sponsored grant at a Caribbean country providing language instruction and planning a campaign for an international non-profit organization. And finally achieving my childhood dream of getting accepted into an Ivy League school—at least for my Master’s!

Now at 28, I look back at my successes and realized that by working with my condition rather than fighting against it, I’ve been able to recover and be reintegrated back to school, work, and life in my community. I make sure to follow my therapist’s and psychiatrist’s instructions: lights out by 10 p.m., limit coffee intake, exercise or walk outside, reach out to family and friends if needed, take medication as prescribed. My being Bipolar does not mean I’m crazy but rather it’s just like any other illness. It’s part of my life but it is not my identity. I am and have always been just like everyone else.

CFR: How did you hear about the Baer Reintegration Scholarship Program, and what motivated you to apply?

VD: I heard about the Baer Reintegration Scholarship Program during my sophomore year of college. I was a frequent student at the disability services office and my advisor there recommended me to apply. Since then, I’ve been a recipient of the Baer Reintegration twice. First in 2011, and this year.

CFR: How has being a Baer Reintegration Scholar impacted your education and your life?

VD: Financially, being a Baer Reintegration Scholar is a huge relief. Currently, as a full-time student, the much-needed support from the scholarship program has helped me focus less on tuition payment and more on my studies. However, that’s not without saying how proud I am to be a part of the program. The Baer Reintegration Scholarship has given me a new outlook on life—especially when it comes to my condition. It has empowered me to take ownership of my disability, be comfortable in who I am, and ultimately to give back in some way to others who have gone through the same.

CFR: What career goals and life goals do you have once you have graduated from your program?

Hopefully, once I finish my degree, I plan to either work for a non-profit on advocacy or apply to law school (more schooling!). But the biggest change I hope to make is giving myself the time to have fun! I hope to get to know more people, make new friends, and hopefully settle down and start a family in the next few years.

CFR: What advice would you give to someone who has just been diagnosed with a mental illness?

VD: The best advice I can give someone who has been recently diagnosed with a mental illness is:

1) You are still you no matter what. Your illness does not define you and you are more capable than you realize to achieve your dreams. Think of it as a minor setback. Get the help you need and you’ll be back on track where you need to be.

2) Everyone has a different journey, do not compare yourself to others. Each person has issues and the worst thing you can do is compare yourself to other “normal” people. In fact, there is no such thing as normal; it’s basically a social construct.

3) Life is rough and education is only one part of your journey. Take the time to have balance in your life (date, hang out with friends, visit family). Don’t worry too much about the outcomes and just live in the present moment.

4) Extend your network for support. During the rough times (and we all have them!) reach out to friends and loved ones who can help. It can mean the difference between a ‘bad day’ and a full-on relapse.

5) Take ownership of your health and put as much effort as you can on improving your wellbeing.

CFR: What advice would you give to someone applying for the Baer Reintegration Scholarship Program?

VD:The best advice I can give is to be yourself. I do not think there is a right way to present yourself in the application. Be honest and authentic by not only showing who you are and your struggles, but also how you’ve overcome then. The Baer Reintegration panel/committee wants to know your story and your commitment to reintegration.

CFR: Is there anything else that is important for you to share with the Center for Reintegration community?

VD: I had a unique situation where I had the right treatment early on for my illness which helped me stay on track academically like most youth at the time. Yet, this doesn’t necessarily mean that I did not struggle or did not have setbacks along the way in my career. Just like I’ve had successes, I’ve also had plenty of failures and as such do not want to present myself as a successful person. I consider myself a work in progress and encourage others with a mental illness to follow their own path. Find what you love and are passionate about, set out and plan and go for it! You’ll be surprised at how much you can do when you take a leap of faith and chase after your dreams.

Thank you so much to our current scholar for taking the time to answer our interview questions, especially in the midst of the fall semester. Comment below to show support, and if you are a current or past Baer Reintegration Scholar and would like to share your story, reach out to us at baerscholarships@reintegration.com!

*Name has been changed to protect scholar’s anonymity.

A Work in Progress: A Scholar's Story