Read on to hear about the path of one of our current scholars, Sam! We have a number of incredible folks this year receiving scholarships from us, Sam is studying to become a psychiatric nurse practitioner, to treat, empathize, and inspire folks living with mental health issues. Enjoy!

1. What are you attending school for now, and how long have you been in school?

I am attending school at the Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences University for a Post-Masters Certificate to be a Psychiatric-Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. I started the program in January 2022, and this fall is my third semester. I graduate in just two months!

2. Can you tell us a little bit about your story of living with a mental illness, for instance how and when you were diagnosed, and how that impacted your life as a whole?

I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder when I was 28, when I had my first psychotic manic episode. When I got sick from my first episode, my whole life was derailed. I had spent the previous 2 ½ years studying to be a family nurse practitioner at Boston College. During my final school year, I had been struggling with severe depression (and perhaps a useful hypomania), but after I graduated and when I was in the process of studying for the licensing exam, my mind went haywire in a way that I’d never experienced before. I was lucky in that my brother was a third-year medical student at the time, and he helped my family get me the right care. I had my first appointment with my outpatient psychiatrist on the day my psychosis became emergent. He diagnosed me on the spot, and I went directly to the emergency room, where my life restarted.

3. What effect has your mental illness had on your educational path? Did it interrupt it? Did it shift your course of focus and/or study?

My bipolar I disorder has had a huge effect on my educational path. After being hospitalized twice in a month recovering from my first episode, my family and care team decided it would be for the best for me to forego taking the family nurse practitioner licensing exam. I was so upset that I had worked so hard: I had just graduated with my Master’s in nursing and was inches from starting a career I had had as a goal since I was 17. But I was neither well enough to take the test nor interested enough to pursue the work anymore. After taking time to recover, I eventually went back to working as a registered nurse (which I had been for six years), only this time I decided that I wanted to shift my focus to mental health. I eventually started to rebuild my confidence in my ability to become a nurse practitioner. Considering my personal experience and newfound passion for behavioral health, I realized what would really make me feel fulfilled would be to become a psychiatric prescriber. In order to get a psychiatric license as a nurse practitioner, I only needed to complete one more year of study, through a post-Master’s certificate specializing in psychiatric-mental health. After 3 ½ years of recovery, I finally felt I was healthy enough to pursue this goal. Last October, I applied to a local university, was accepted, and began the program a few months later.

4. What has helped you most with your recovery and reintegration back to school, work, and life in your communities?

My parents have been a rock for me these past few years. I moved back in with them when I got sick, and it has been a lifesaver to be able to rely on them. I also found an outlet that really helped me reintegrate, which was that I joined an orchestra for people with mental illnesses. I found out about the Me2/orchestra from an article in the New York Times, and as a former oboe player, I knew I had to get involved. After nine years away from playing, I started practicing my oboe again, and joining the orchestra has been amazingly therapeutic. The directors of the organization, Caroline Whiddon and Ronald Braunstein, have become great mentors for me, and the rest of the orchestra has become a wonderfully supportive community. Me2/ reminded me that I could return to my innate talents and find my true self underneath my illness.

5. How did you hear about the Baer Reintegration Scholarship Program, and what motivated you to apply?

Once I decided that I wanted to pursue the psychiatric certificate, my mom did a Google search for scholarship opportunities for people with bipolar disorder. It’s inspiring to find out that there are organizations like the Baer Foundation that believe in people like myself struggling with mental illness and provides this opportunity. It was really motivating to learn that my difficult journey was similar to those of other talented, intelligent people, and I felt more confident in my ability to succeed knowing there were these kinds of opportunities out there for people like me.

6. How has being a Baer Reintegration Scholar impacted your education and your life?

One of the strongest triggers that gives me anxiety is financial security. Facing significant student debt from my original Master’s, I was a little hesitant to take the plunge and invest in more education. But receiving the financial assistance from the Baer Reintegration Scholarship has taken a huge weight from off my shoulders. Being able to have some of my tuition paid has given me the chance to reduce my hours at work so that I can focus more on my studies and devote essential time to my ever-important self-care.

7. What career goals and life goals do you have once you have graduated from your program?

I’ve had the great fortune of living in the Boston area where I’ve had access to some of the best psychiatric care in the world. I owe my life to the Dauten Family Center for Bipolar Treatment Innovation at Massachusetts General Hospital. It would be my dream to work as a psychiatric nurse practitioner in their clinic, where I could inspire people with bipolar disorder like myself to live their best lives. I want to be an inspiration, and I think it would be the greatest success story for me to go back and work alongside the psychiatrists who saved my life.

8. What advice would you give to someone who has just been diagnosed with a mental illness?

When I was diagnosed, I felt a severe pessimism realizing I had to take medication for the rest of my life that had lots of side effects and made me feel less like my true self. But after several years of working with my brilliant psychiatrist and tweaking my medication to blend the perfect cocktail, I have found a balance where I feel stable and healthy. It’s a long road to finding the right medication – it took me three long years – but I’m glad I never settled for feeling “good enough.” My advice is to never give up on finding the right medications. Even if it seems impossible, have faith that you will eventually feel better, and you can go back to feeling like yourself again.

9. What advice would you give to someone applying for the Baer Reintegration Scholarship Program?

It may seem like a difficult application, but bit by bit you can get it done! I found the recommendations the most intimidating part – I don’t like asking for professional help! – but if you give your references ample time, they’ll really appreciate it.

10. What is your favorite aspect of being a student? What is your least favorite?

My favorite aspect is that I get to meet and work alongside other students who have the same passions that I do. My cohort has become a supportive community, and I look forward to when we’ll all be colleagues out in our new careers. My least favorite aspect is the looming stress of the licensing exam. I’m particularly anxious about it because of what happened when I attempted the family NP licensing exam, but I’m confident that this time will be different now that I’ve taken care of my mental health.

11. What are some of your hobbies and interests? What do you like to do in your free time?

I spend my Monday evenings practicing my oboe with the Me2/orchestra! Besides that, I have a passion for complementary and alternative medicine, especially yoga. (I even got a yoga teacher certificate in India in 2015!) I also like to cook and hike. In my free time I like to spend time with my boyfriend going on cute seasonal dates.

12. Is there anything else you would like to share with our community?

Thank you so much for this opportunity!

*All images are free stock images through our website provider. Scholars’ privacy is an upmost priority at the Center for Reintegration, this scholar has chosen to go by nickname only.

A Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner: A Scholar Story